Parenting from your Theology

by on March 23, 2015 » Add the first comment.

The most important thing about you is your concept of God. Why is that? Because your concept of God affects everything in your life. What you believe about God determines how you view everything… marriage, suffering, love, forgiveness, work, friendships, and… parenting.

I recently read Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. (Our church has even used this study on Wednesday nights with parents) The premise of the book is to parent our children out of the grace we receive from God. Kimmel challenges parents to guard against judgmental and legalistic parenting styles. The main problem with both of those parenting styles is that approval and success is based on performance. There is a big difference between obeying so that God will love you and obeying because God loves you.

If you fell like you always have to try harder and do more to please God, then your kids will feel the same way about trying to please you.

If you are always comparing your kids and family to others or pointing out what others are doing wrong, then your kids’ identity will be found in what they can do, rather than in the person and work of Christ.

If we see God as the God of Grace that He is, then our parenting will reflect that. Kimmel says, “Parents who operate by grace instead of by a checklist or popular opinion are a lot easier for their children to trust.” Grace based parenting is driven by the love and grace of God given to us freely and not driven by guilt and a need to do penance.

“The primary word that defines how God deals with His children is grace. Grace does not exclude obedience, respect, boundaries, or discipline, but it does determine the climate in which these important parts of parenting are carried out.”

How we view God shapes our parenting styles and practices. Let’s follow God’s lead and parent out of grace and love, not out of fear or guilt.

 

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